Week 3 - July 2021 Musings

Some months are busy. This last few weeks have been a good bit of work and change for things around the house. And a little bit of an emotional rollercoaster learning to navigate new waters.

Books? Check out my  my Good Reads, to catch up to the 88 books I've read - most are light fiction. 

Current book club book is The Chosen and the Beautiful, a magical (literally) re-telling of The Great Gatsby. OMG it's SOOOOOOOO good. Go buy a copy now!

Cooking? Hungryroot is over. They could NOT get it together - delivery a day late, 2 days late, not at all; boxes missing items. Yeah, I don't need that kind of hassle! This month I'm trying Green Chef. First impressions: it's a little expensive per serving. It also is a little complicated for cooking. I really hate multi-pan (stove top and oven) 35 minutes of prep. And unlike Hungryroot, the Green Chef plan do not include snacks or dessert. 

Gratitude? A thousand small things: the new ferns for the bathroom, the new hand soap dispenser, fresh ink, the new elephant pillow, the room screen. 

Also things that are not things: friends coming over for dinner, a fun experience making perfume*, going out with friends to dinner, checking out a great new movie (Black Widow) with friends. And let us discuss my fabulous patio.... (the patio of possibilities!) 

*Recommend The Aroma Lab in Kalamazoo for a fun experience making your own perfume! (That's the picture of the top. I made 3 scents and put them in different things.)

Listening? Halsey. All the Halsey. Castle is my theme song. The occasional Cocktails & Crooners from Apple's lists.

Also a ton of Susan Hyatt's Rich Coach Club podcast (formerly Go Time).

Watching? I have been binging on SVU. I'm on season 13. I think I might actually be able to solve crime at this point.

Wearing (Skin)

Keeping up with last month's "plan" of cleanse and care.

Plus, the last few months I've been trying a newer brand called Earth Harbor. They have super reasonably priced kits that let you try their products. I started with the "Dewy You" kit for older skin. It was fine. I did not love the Siren Silk cream.  The next one I tried was the "Glow Up" kit - and I loved that one! The Mermaid Milk is the perfect summer weight for daytime. The Luna Rain and Marina are wonderful for evening. And I very much loved the Glow Juice mask! Just the perfect amount of exfoliation to make the skin glow. In short, I'm an Earth Harbor fan. It's a good product, ethically made, at a great price.

Wearing (Perfume)

I continue to support small businesses with my love of indie perfume houses. Below is my latest indie haul from Sucrebeille. (They had a sale. The sales are fantastic! And I love a bargain)

• I’m a Delicate Fucking Flower - Scent Notes: Monoi Tiare, gardenias, freesia, and lily of the valley create a lush floral opening, then step back, and the deep rosewood and copal resin comes forward. This is a supremely rich floral that darkens to a woody, resinous finish. 
• Elder Nerd - Scent Notes: Subtle moonflower and bright linden blossom dot a forest of dark oakmoss, rosewood and sandalwood. Stumble on a tiny woodland tavern full of adventurers and smoke, incense, tobacco absolute and myrrh. A drop of honey sweetens the story.
• Gooseberry - Scent Notes: Gooseberry and lilacs, and a touch of honey
• Huckleberry - Scent Notes: Wild huckleberries picked from a cedar forest in a misty, wet morning. Oakmoss, rain and cloudy skies
• I Said What I Said - Scent Notes: A strong, unrepentant blend of blood orange and black currant. Red musk, elemi, and black oud shimmer on a background of Egyptian musk and dragon's blood.
• Impending Doom - Scent notes: Red Mandarin and rich honey create a sweet first impression, luring you into smoke, patchouli, gunpowder and... Is that gasoline? Clearly, an evil plan is afoot!
• DreamCrusher - Scent notes: Sweet peach tea that's been left to steep a little too long with that edge of bitterness, like crushed dreams
• Glow Up - Scent Notes: Sparkling candied citrus peel, vanilla from the expensive hippie shop, Egyptian Musk, cuticle cream
• Black Rose - Scent Notes: wild rose, rich dark chocolate, fresh vanilla bean, burnt sugar, whiskey, bourbon, an old library in a dusty castle, patchouli, a cold creamsicle on a hot day, really good bacon.
• Blood Rose  - Scent Notes: English rose, honey, sea salt, dragonsblood.
• Briar Rose  Scent Notes: wild rose, lavender fields, a spellbound forest at night, a sprig of rosemary, cedar, freshly ground clove, bergamot.
• Flame Rose  Scent Notes: wild rose, cedarwood, smoke, leather.
• Glass Rose Scent Notes: white rose, white musk, white thyme, a summer rainstorm, neroli, gardenia, a perfectly ripe grapefruit, kumquat, orange blossom, neroli, red mandarin, fresh dalmatian sage.
• Steel Rose  Scent Notes: wild rose, English rose, white rose, woodsmoke, patchouli, dragonsblood, metallic copper, metal, smoky incense.
• Stone Rose  Scent notes: moss covered stones warmed by the sun and shining with a recent rain. Wild roses, heather, tuberose and labdanum blend with a drop of oakmoss
• Wood Rose Scent notes: Tiny wild roses blooming on the forest floor, rich, spiced rosewood, vanilla laced with patchouli and sweet resins

While I - obviously - love rose scents, I just want to tell people I'm a delicate f'ing flower and will now be doing that via scent!

Random Your time is a precious thing. Spend it with people who value it. Do things you love. And people who don't value your time, aren't worth it.

Take-away - If you want to be a skillful sailor, you learn to navigate rough seas. They are a blessing. Learn to embrace the blessing.

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Week 1 - June 2021 Musings

Did you know that peonies need the cold of winter to snap back and bloom? Sometimes I am the same - I need the quiet and dark to refocus my energy. I needed a bit less on my to-do list and a bit more time in my schedule for me. I hope you don't mind the break. (Peony picture for tax)

So what has been going on? I've been painting ALL the things in the house - walls, ceilings, book cases, furniture - ALL the things! And building furniture. And a bit of gardening. And reading. Pandemic levels of reading. And resettling myself after a pretty bad bout of depression. I get SAD to a lesser degree most winters. Throw in a pandemic, a break up, a house purchase, and the chaos of a new space = a much a greater degree. So I did a little re-set and gave myself the grace to just BE so I could get through the physical therapy on my hip, the winter, the memories of spring, and just everything. It worked! I'm back, sans limp - but I have an attitude. You have been warned.

Books? I read my entire 2021 planned amount. In escapist novels. (I have favorites, they show up in my Good Reads). I'm 75 books in.

New goal. I read non-fiction business during the week and indulge in other books on the weekend. It's significantly slowed my reading but I'm making some progress on enriching my mind.

Cooking? New stove came Thursday, we will discuss after that. Because I will be cooking ALL THE THINGS.

Gratitude? 35 year old me who thought a personal IRA was a great idea. The friends who visit my new space and do not suggest changes to their taste but understand I have a vision. My adorable kitchen. The new side porch furniture. 

Listening? Apple's lists have me pegged. I pick one and it rifts on things I like. Have discovered I like Fall Out Boy. (Will not be debating this.) 

Also a ton of Patrice Washington's Redefining Wealth podcasts and Don't Keep Your Day Job with Cathy Heller podcasts - they seem to inspire me and even out my keel. Right now, I'm all about that.

Watching? This week I finished Stumptown. Let's discuss how I can finish a TV series but not an online class. (Also a friend came to visit the new space and referred to my TV as a "cute little TV" - then asked where the bigger one is. That...is......it. That's the only one.)

Wearing? 

Yeah, I still look good for my age but who the hell knows about my skin? It currently hates facemasks on the regular, and I'm tired of fighting the wrinkles. Here's a picture of what I have going on this week - day, night, and mask.

Day (Skin)

Night (Skin) 

The Masks (Skin)

As mentioned, I've been fighting the maskne. I've got a whole regime of masks I rotate through. Here they are below. The Blue Magic and Mayala's Neem are my favorites but that Naturallogic hydrating mask is fantastic around the eyes.

Wearing (Perfume)

My perfume interest may have tilted into addiction. Kind of like when I need the full set of a book series. I think I may have an obsessive personality. (Shrugs.) I smell fantastic. Go explore the world of indie perfumes. Support a small business. It's good for your soul. 

Below is my latest indie haul from Death and Floral.

I bought a primer (the tin) to help make scents last longer. 

• Summer Camp Gothic - Scent notes: Dry oakwood absolute, browned marshmallows, cedar, black pepper, toasted vanilla
• The same way I am in love with the moon - Scent notes: Palo santo blended with smoked sandalwood and a lunar accord. Deep and reminiscent of a breezy night under a looming full moon.
• You belong among the wildflowers - Scent notes: Lemongrass and wild red poppies, blended with sunflowers, Spanish moss, and dogwood.
• Nothing rusts in the desert, the air is full of ghosts - Scent notes: Pink cactus flowers and sweet grass, with notes of warm rain and woody dry vanilla

And so far, I'm in love.

Random My Southern Gram passed a few weeks ago. The funeral was over Memorial Day weekend. And I realized as we progressed from illness to death to funeral that the experience of a single human life and how it is seen varies from person to person. People recalled things about her I could never imagine and would never have guessed. (Facebook memories and snippets of stories.) Other people, outside the family, shared memories as well - and it's funny because I was privy to Gram's take on those people and it does not jive with their impression of what she thought of them! In the end, despite what other people think, I suspect we are unknowable to all but the Universe (or God, if you prefer.)

Take-away - Nothing last forever...but while we are here, live with joy as often as possible.

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Week 3 - February 2021

You did not miss a week - I did! Spent some much needed "me" time working out things and de-fragging from the busy-i-ness wheel. Recommend!

Random: 

People make time for what matters.  People who cancel on you, again and again are telling you that you don't matter. Stop making time for them. (Note to self.)

Hello! I was on a podcast! Click to listen.

Books: There was a weekend binge. It made me feel MUCH better!

• Linsey Hall's Shadow Guild: Hades & Persephone series (3 books). Nice beach read. Nothing to write home about those.
• Linsey Hall's Shadow Guild: Wolf Queen 1st book (Darkest Moon). Laugh out loud on several parts of how this heroine things. 
• Lia Davis's Witching After 40 series 1st book (A Ghoulish Midlife) and a matching holiday novella, Cookies for Satan. This was actually better than the cover lead me to believe. Que Dolly Parton - don't judge me by my cover because I'm a real good book.

I'm slowly making my way through a book on fairytales. It's less groundbreaking than I thought and I don't like the way some of my favorites are being retold.

Gratitude: Pizza. Sweet kittens. Etsy vendors - because man they make personal style pretty easy! (Check out my new scent hanger for my car!) People who listen to you and don't project. Becoming okay with changes. Updating calendars. Dogs who don't mind sad days and snuggle. 

Listening: The Chicks. Apple has a playlist. (Although, Natalie Maines - it's not that uncommon for your husband's girlfriend's husband to tell you about the affair. That's how I found out. And why I got divorced.) What Would Dolly Do playlist, also on Apple. Not a podcast to be found. (Not even the one I was on - but I listened to it the week before.)

Watching: Dexter. I know it's weird but I find it very easy to follow and not requiring much brain power on my part (probably because I read the books.) and I've not even been watching much of it. Really just music, books and resting.

Wearing - Scent & Skin  

Scent

Imaginary Authors

- Telegrama  - Scent notes: Talc, Lavender Absolute, Black Pepper, Teak, Amyris, Vanilla Powder, Fresh Linens. The scent line up - heavy on the talc and the vanilla with a strong side of lavender- hasn't changed. But somehow I'm starting to like it more? Baffled that there is still anything left in the sample. I've worn it a couple of weekends now. 

Sucreabeille

- R.E.S.P.E.C.T - Scent notes: your mother’s expensive cold cream that she dutifully applied every night and now you do, too, mixed with fragrant, sumptuous black cherries. The longer I own this one, the more I like it. It's rich and incense laden - the fruit almost smells like smoke. The vanilla is hidden info a sweet richness.  Sillage seems to increase with age. This aged so beautifully into an amazing scent and I could wear it every day. I'm out. I miss it. I will be buying it again.

- Frozen Moon - Scent Notes: crisp winter evening air, frost, sweet sugar plums swirl with delicious marshmallow. Don't ask me explain, but this seems like a February scent. This is such a sweet scent. I continue to get a lot of sweetness off it crossed with fruit. It lasts well into the day and it drifts around me in a tiny cloud. Done with the little bottle. I've bought it a couple of times but I don't think I will  again. It's really too sweet to be me.

Skin

Still fighting off the maskne. I'm now doing a mask every 2-3 days. All the masks in my cabinet (tell you about them next time). And I added in the new eye cream, which is a lovely, softening bit of moisture and is a gorgeous green blue due to the tansy in it.

 - Day time - Standard in-shower wash of tea tree cleanser  - plus a buffing scrub (Essentially NOLA's Exfoliating Grains) - Naturallogic Elemental Advanced Hydration Red Wine Essence to restore moisture and fight off lines (go to the decollate too!), Fine Cosmetics Daytime Radiance Eye Serum tapped in around the eye with 3rd finger, then Votary day oil and Votary cream. And I'm now topping that off with the new eye cream, Aqua Aura by Earth Harbor Botanicals.

- Night time - 1st cleanse with 100% Pure's Blood Orange Cleansing Balm following with a 2nd cleanse with my DHC Washing Powder (for a little extra exfoliation) or the Natura Detox Wash. And I'm continuing to spot treating the rest. Earthwise Beauty's Yasumi Face Balm on the cheeks.  Blüh Alchemy's Multi-C serum on the forehead and around the eyes. Topped by the Live Botanical Sanctuary Barrier Balm around the eyes, on the forehead and neck. Frownies on the forehead because forehead wrinkles are aging. And another layer of Aqua Aura eye cream tapped around the eyes before bed.

Things 14 said:

I was telling her about what my physical therapist has me doing. (Also that his job is basically to boss people around having them do painful things.) 

"Sounds like a job a cat would like." And this is now how we determine if she will like a job or not.

Take-away - Look, you are the only one who can take care of you. And sometimes you need to do that first.

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Week 1 - February 2021

February blew in with cold and snow. I know people who love this month. For me - much like November (outside of Thanksgiving) - it's a month I could skip. The last few years it's cold and snowy. Heavy snow and bitter cold. It's a good time for a vacation. Maybe next year.

 Random: 

- All vitamins should come in gummy form. That way it's like a treat!

- Take a day off, you need it.

Books: Quick reads over the weekend is still my speed. And I've started rocking mermaid gloves while reading. Because February came in cold.

- Making Midlife Madness by Heloise Hull which is better than I expect. Because I know the Greek gods well, the way she unveils information keeps catching me off guard in a good way.

- Night Shift Dragons by Rachel Aaron which was fantastically fun. I loved this series. Apparently it's part fo a larger "world" - but I never read those, so it feels fresh for me.

Gratitude: Laundry machines. Breakfasts out. Fancy soaps from friends. Snow that shovels easily and comes down on Saturday (so you have time to deal with it).Calendars. Getting things off the To-Do list. Scented candles. Food boxes filled with healthy food. Mermaid gloves.

Listening: Don't keep your day job podcast, which I find super inspiring. Grind and be grateful podcast. (She rarely talks about gratitude, I've noticed. Not sure this will stay on the playlist.)

Watching: Vikings. (I'm on Season 4.) I'm slowly losing interest in the series. There are now so many characters to pay attention to.  American Housewife. (Current season). Dexter. (Season 2). It's a very non-stressful watch for me, maybe because I've read the books and watched it before.

Wearing - Scent & Skin  

Scent

Imaginary Authors

- Telegrama  - Scent notes: Talc, Lavender Absolute, Black Pepper, Teak, Amyris, Vanilla Powder, Fresh Linens. Heavy on the talc and the vanilla with a strong side of lavender - this goes right to old lady; the teak and black pepper never show up for me. 

Sucreabeille

- R.E.S.P.E.C.T - Scent notes: your mother’s expensive cold cream that she dutifully applied every night and now you do, too, mixed with fragrant, sumptuous black cherries. This has aged well. It's rich and incense laden - the fruit almost smells like smoke. The vanilla is hidden info a sweet richness. The older this sample gets, the better I like it. Sillage also increases with age. This has mellowed into an amazing scent and I could wear it every day

- Frozen Moon - Scent Notes: crisp winter evening air, frost, sweet sugar plums swirl with delicious marshmallow. Don't ask me explain, but this seems like a February scent.This is such a sweet scent. I continue to get a lot of sweetness off it crossed with fruit. It lasts well into the day.

Skin

Still fighting off the maskne. Keeping up the system from last week.

 - Day time - Standard in-shower wash of tea tree cleanser  - plus a buffing scrub (Essentially NOLA's Exfoliating Grains) - Naturallogic Elemental Advanced Hydration Red Wine Essence to restore moisture and fight off lines, Fine Cosmetics Daytime Radiance Eye Serum tapped in around the eye with 3rd finger, then Votary day oil and Votary cream. 

- Night time - 1st cleanse with 100% Pure's Blood Orange Cleansing Balm following with a 2nd cleanse with my DHC Washing Powder for a little extra exfoliation. And I'm continuing to spot treating the rest. Earthwise Beauty's Yasumi Face Balm on the cheeks.  Blüh Alchemy's Multi-C serum on the forehead and around the eyes. Topped by the Live Botanical Sanctuary Barrier Balm around the eyes, on the forehead and neck. Frownie on the forehead because forehead wrinkles are aging. 

Ordered some new eye cream. Needing a bit more moisture due to the February dryness.

Take-away - Someone asked me, what are you doing to take care of you? It's a really good question to think about. What are YOU doing to take care of you? Because you have to put your own oxygen mask on first so you can help others.

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Week 4 - January 2021

Random: 

I miss the sea. 

People who do not take responsibility annoy me:

- We would love to see you. Come visit us. (Hell. Come visit ME! I don't have time to drive down there. Do you have time to come up here?)

- Figure out what I owe you. (Hell. Why don't you look up what it costs and offer your half? I'll let you know if it isn't enough)

- Let me know when you want to be on my show. (Hell. It's your show. Why don't you tell me when you have time slots. I don't know your schedule.) 

- I don't have your current address. (Hell. I sent you a link to the house I bought. What did you think that was? Also, every item I've sent you in the last 5 years had the same mailing address on it.)

- I did not know you were on Instagram. You never get suggested to me. (Hell, you read my newsletter. There is a link to Insta at the bottom of it.)

Trying to figure out if I'm being an unreasonable bitch or if I just know WAY too many women who don't accept personal responsibility for anything and want to put in the least effort possible while acting as if they are sooooo busy.

Books : Perhaps that is my issue. Perhaps I didn't read enough this week and it put me in "a bad humor."

Gratitude : Mermaid gloves. Painting. Cute cats. Lip balm.

Listening: Way too many people with judgements and ridicule about choices that are not theirs. And I'm done being nice about it because I'm not the person in your head. I'm flesh and blood and free will. 

Watching: Vikings. (The dog likes it too.) I did not finish it and don't remember it well - so I started over on Season One. It's more enjoyable than I remembered. I like the women's roles.

Wearing - Scent & Skin 

Sucreabeille

- We Are Stardust - Scent notes: Daisy crowns and sandalwood, a bouquet of peace lilies, vanilla cream fresh from Max’s dairy farm, and a drop of patchouli. We are stardust. Remember. And someone said I smelled good.  Sucre came up with both a patchouli and daisy that I don't mind. On me, it's a delicious cream and lily with a sandalwood base.

- R.E.S.P.E.C.T - Scent notes: your mother’s expensive cold cream that she dutifully applied every night and now you do, too, mixed with fragrant, sumptuous black cherries. This has aged well. It's rich and incense laden - the fruit almost smells like smoke. The vanilla is hidden info a sweet richness. The older this sample gets the better I like it. Sillage also increases with age.

- Frozen Moon - Scent Notes: crisp winter evening air, frost, sweet sugar plums swirl with delicious marshmallow. This is such a sweet scent. I continue to get a lot of sweetness off it crossed with fruit. It lasts a good well into the day.

Skin

Change is good. This week adjustments were made to re-set the skin which has been unappealingly spotted of late due to the wearing of masks. (Mascne.)

 - Day time - Standard in-shower wash of tea tree cleanser  - plus a buffing scrub - followed by a third finger (gentlest finger) tapping into the skin of 100% Pure's Super Fruit Oil Nourishing Eye Cream (until I ran out), Naturallogic Elemental Advanced Hydration Red Wine Essence to restore moisture and fight off lines, then Votary day oil and Votary cream. 

The new eye treatment is Fine Cosmetics Daytime Radiance Eye Serum. A little less nourishing (read creamy) than I like, but seems to help the undereye. And eye make up is less smeary as a result. (If I gave everything more time to set that would help but I'm always in a hurry.)

- Night time - 1st cleanse with 100% Pure's Blood Orange Cleansing Balm following with a 2nd cleanse with my DHC Washing Powder for a little extra exfoliation. And I've spot treating the rest. Earthwise Beauty's Yasumi Face Balm on the cheeks.  Blüh Alchemy's Multi-C serum on the forehead and around the eyes. Topped by the Live Botanical Sanctuary Barrier Balm around the eyes, on the forehead and neck. Frownie on the forehead because forehead wrinkles are aging. 

Take-away - To all things there is a time. And patience is one of them. Watch out for what happens when it ends.

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Week 3 - January 2021

I feel like we have entered the cold moon part of the month, despite the waxing moon. The late January/February part of the year has been the coldest the last few years. 

Random: 1) I got a new rug for the living room and the cats keep sliding and playing on it. (Dog never does that and would like to proclaim his innocence of the mess behind him.)  I've taken to wondering if the cats are trying to decide if the new rug is Arabian or Persian. When I find it rucked up, I know it didn't fly. When I find it flat in other rooms, then I wonder what they did while I was gone.

2) Here's the thing about projecting... it's about you and people may call you on it.

3) There were big orange leaves outside on the road by the river. When I looked more closely, a deer had smashed a pumpkin and licked it clean! I'd thrown the pumpkins from my front door decorations into the compost pile. Less than 2 days for the riverside deer to find and pillage them!

Books: Weekend reading is so much more than a guilty pleasure. It is sanity restoring. I recommend doing it.

- Wild Cards and Witches by Annabel Chase (finishing out the Pandora's Pride). The ending felt rushed after all the build up of three books.

- Twice the Fun by Rosalie Hunter. Eminently skipable.

Gratitude: Friends who distract you. Snuggle cats. Sweet dogs. Chinese food. Beautiful candles. Unstinky puppies. Face masks. Reimagining things. Lip balm with a pretty tint.

Listening: Christy Wright's new podcast. P!nk. Dido. 

Watching: Finished The Magicians (burning the Castle Whitespire candle from Novelly Yours  to set the mood.) Watched the Madame CJ Walker special on Netlfix. (I know it got dissed a little for the historical accuracy, I enjoyed it more as a story than strict history.) Flack. PR show. Dark and surprisingly fun. And Dexter. I've watched it before and read the books. It's also, like Queen of the South, a non-stress show. Vikings. I'm restarting it. Willing suspension of disbelief on calling it "England" in the 8th century.

Wearing - Scent & Skin 

Scent

Imaginary Authors

- Memoirs of a Trespasser - Scent notes: Madagascar Vanilla, Guiacwood, Myrrh, Benzoin Resin, Ambrette Seeds, Oak Barrels. This smelled like a vanilla ice cream root beer float on me. No idea why. It was not something I'd buy, so it's a good thing I found an additional tiny sample. Almost no sillage, either. 

Sucreabeille

- We Are Stardust - Scent notes: Daisy crowns and sandalwood, a bouquet of peace lilies, vanilla cream fresh from Max’s dairy farm, and a drop of patchouli. We are stardust. Remember. And someone said I smelled good.  Sucre came up with both a patchouli and daisy that I don't mind. On me, it's a delicious cream and lily with a sandalwood base.

- Frozen Moon - Scent Notes: crisp winter evening air, frost, sweet sugar plums swirl with delicious marshmallow. This is such a sweet scent. I continue to get a lot of sweetness off it crossed with fruit. It lasts a good well into the day.

Skin

Sunday night face masks are now a thing. Malaya Advanced Repair Mask (with neem flower honey) is wonderfully skin clearing. No change in daily or nightly skin routine. But I'm about to run out a  few things - so the routine will change in the next few days.

 - Day time - Standard in-shower wash of tea tree cleanser  - plus a buffing scrub - followed by a third finger (gentlest finger) tapping into the skin of 100% Pure's Super Fruit Oil Nourishing Eye Cream (which is almost out), then Votary day oil and Votary cream. (No change.)

- Night time - 1st cleanse with 100% Pure's Blood Orange Cleansing Balm following with a 2nd cleanse with my DHC Washing Powder for a little extra exfoliation. First moisture layer is the Naturallogic Elemental Advanced Hydration Red Wine Essence to restore moisture and fight off lines. Next, Blüh Alchemy's Multi-C serum topped by the Live Botanical Sanctuary Barrier Balm (the December Boxwalla box.) And slapping that Frownie on the forehead because forehead wrinkles are aging.

Take-away - Sometimes it feels like you are standing still. You aren't, even if the progress is small. And the time will pass, whether you make progress or not. So start now.

Reminder - It you are looking for some journaling inspiration, I've got you covered with a digital book of journal prompts. 3 per week, plus an inspiring quote. Check it out on Gumroad with this link: https://gumroad.co/NZTt  

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Week 2 - January 2021

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? This past week or two just felt insane. And heavy and so very tiring. I know it's not just me. It feels like a collective angst. 

Once, I bought a box of scents and CDs. The box was literally called "Serenity". I bought a BOX OF SERENITY. (It did not help.) But I feel like we all need the calming aromatherapy and visual stillness of white candles with the sound of raindrops in the background that was in that box. I wish that serene feeling for all of us. Here's an image I like of the winter dawn sky near my house that feels like that.

We're going to start mixing it up! (Hey, 2021 - looking at you.)  Books, Gratitude, Watching, and Listening are all still parts; but, we're starting with Random from now on. It's often too true to be buried.

Random: 

1) Pro tip - if your friend is newly single in a pandemic and you know has a difficult family, maybe asking "How were your holidays?" or "Did you enjoy the holidays?" is not the smartest question. It can be very triggering. Try asking "How are you doing?" or "Are you enjoying the New Year?".  

BTW  - everyone who asked me that is married with solid family. No damned clue. I'm delighted to hear about their holidays and family time, but it's not a good question to ask me.

2) Toxic positivity is a real thing. Currently experiencing it from a friend who really has no idea how dismissive that is of people's experience and feelings. Feelings come in all shapes and sizes. Experiencing (not wallowing in) them is actually healthy.

Books: I have this thought about the first book of the year ... I think it sets up the tone of the year. 

In 2019, I started off with Mental Toughness for Women Leaders: 52 Tips to Recognize and Utilize Your Greatest Strengths by LaRae Quey (former FBI agent.) I wanted to be stronger and more emotionally resilient. 

In 2020, the book was The Law of Divine Compensation: On Work, Money, and Miracles by Marianne Williamson. I wanted to draw in more abundance to my life.

This year (2021), being newly single - new job - new house - new car, I wanted to think about how I want my future to be. So I picked....The Woman I Wanted To Be by Diane Von Furstenberg. Because I want to remember who I wanted to be and think about who I want to be going forward. It was interesting. Her life was privileged in ways I'm not sure she even realized.

Making Midlife Magic by Heloise Hull has an Italian flair and is fun. Nice light reading!

Cooking & Garden: We skip those topics this month. Too cold to garden. And I just heat up the Hungryroot that arrives.

Gratitude: Snuggle cats. Groomers for stinky dogs. Perfume sample sets. Fancy soap. Pretty dawns. Light snow that melts off. Good skin care - including the most lusciously scented body oil ever. Cute benches.

Listening: I've been listening to Apple Music - Tiera Country. (It's okay.) Audible - Hellcats podcast. It was more visceral than I expected. Florence and the Machine - because there is never a time that isn't appropriate. 

Watching: Rewatched Firefly to start the year. Because, I love it. Godless is a Netflix show that features women in the west - I finished that up. The Magicians have a new season on Netflix; I'm 2 episodes in.

Wearing

Scent

It was a three house couple of weeks. I've been in a testing kind of mood.

Ellis Brooklyn

- Myth  - Scent Notes - top: bergamot, ambrette seeds, cassis; mid: tiger orchid, pink lotus, jasmine petals; dry: patchouli, liquid musks, white cedarwood. (Billed as "the most alluring musk around"). Last time out, it had zero sillage for me - trying it immediately upon arrival. This time - gosh! It lasted a full day as a light drift of scent. The bergamot and jasmine took center stage with the white cedarwood. I'm wondering it the time (resting) helped - I've had this sample for more than 6 months.  (Killed off the sample.)

Sucreabeille

- Shennanigator- Scent Notes: Opens with the rich, warm aroma of buttered popcorn. Next comes raspberries, lemons, and green figs. Sweet oud lingers as a heart note. Yep to the raspberry and popcorn - possibly there was a hint of fig. No lemon. This was not a scent that worked for me; it was just a weirdo mishmash of scents that didn't go and flowed away into nothing on my skin but a hint of popcorn in about 3 hours. The good news is that it was a teeny tiny sample and I killed it off.

- Ruthless B-Word - Scent Notes: An unbelievably juicy blend of blood oranges and lychees. White amber and ginger lilies blend to give a sophisticated presence. For me, this is a lightly fruity floral that lasts one hot minute on my skin. (Seriously - maybe 2 hours in my hair. Something in it - maybe the citrus - is gone against my skin.) I get none of the amber, which usually lingers on me. No lilies. Maybe a hint of lychee. It's sweet and a fun name but I'd like it to last longer and linger on my skin the way RBG lingers in our consciousness as the classiest judge ever. (Killed off the sample)

- Frozen Moon - Scent Notes: crisp winter evening air, frost, sweet sugar plums swirl with delicious marshmallow. This is such a sweet scent. I get a lot of sweetness off it crossed with fruit. It lasts a good 4-6 hours and makes me feel better about winter.

Wylde Ivy (from the Boho Dreams collection)

- Chasing Dreams. - Scent Notes: white freesia, faded cotton, pure white vanilla, southern magnolia, wild violets, blackberry brambles, and dainty sugar cubes. I loved the part of the sample description about whispering secrets to the stars - and oh that sounded lovely. This was such a generous sample! I got 4 days of trying off this. For me the scent was heavy cotton as I put it on. In a few hours I got a little magnolia and sugar with vanilla. Then the vanilla roared in. (I literally woke up in the middle of the night from the scent of vanilla cotton.) The sillage was amazing - a full day. At the end, this was too cotton and vanilla for my taste. (Not a bit of blackberry!) But I'm excited to try the others from this line.

Skin

These were better skin weeks. Kept it the same over both weeks. Did throw in 2 face masks over the weekends - it's absolutely skin saving right now. Naturallogic Unmask Detox Hydration Mask  and Malaya Advanced Repair Mask (both courtesy of Boxwalla on different moths.) That hydration mask is the BOMB for winter skin. And the repair mask (with neem flower honey) is fantastic on the now ubiquitous mascne. 

 - Day time - Standard in-shower wash of tea tree cleanser followed by a third finger (gentlest finger) tapping into the skin of 100% Pure's Super Fruit Oil Nourishing Eye Cream, then Votary day oil and Votary cream. 

- Night time - 1st cleanse with 100% Pure's Blood Orange Cleansing Balm following with a 2nd cleanse with my DHC Washing Powder for a little extra exfoliation. First moisture layer is the Naturallogic Elemental Advanced Hydration Red Wine Essence (last month's Boxwalla) to restore moisture and fight off lines. Next, Blüh Alchemy's Multi-C serum from the December Boxwalla beauty box. (Without the sample, I would never have tried anything that expensive. But it's glorious.) I close the skincare with Live Botanical Sanctuary Barrier Balm (again, the December Boxwalla box.) And slapping that Frownie on the forehead because forehead wrinkles are aging.

Boxwalla has a every other month beauty box that is the BOMB. Highly recommend. The December box included Blüh Alchemy Active Relief Body Oil which is the most delicious thing I've ever smelled! Totally replaces perfume and makes your skin feel amazing.

Take-away - There is a time for releasing. Sometimes that feels like breaking. (A husk that's too weak to contain the new life.) New growth is painful at first; but, how can you be the flower you are meant to be unless you blossom?

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Let's Talk about 2020

Things we learned. Things we did not learn. Things we learned again. Unprecedented times. Life changes.  And where we go from here. That's my description of 2020 in paragraph form.

Every year I put out a list of what I learned. They are, honestly, mostly notes to self! And I swear sometimes I learn the same lesson - all over again. Below is my list for 2020. Maybe you learned the same lessons. Maybe you learned something else.  But either way, may we never stop learning and growing.

1. Fear will stop you. It is what limits you. Step outside of it.
2. Sometimes you've got to burn it all down and start over.
3. Boundaries are good. But you are in charge of keeping them defined.
4. Relationships require work from both parties. (Not a newsflash.) I refuse to be the only one working in it.
5. Be grateful for the people who see you as who you are rather than who they want you to be.

If you'd like to see what I learned at other points: lessons in 2019,  lessons in 2018,  lessons in 2017, lessons in 2016 , lessons in 2015 or learn about the rules. 

PS - want to get started journaling in 2021 but not sure what to write? I've got you covered with a digital book of journal prompts. 3 per week, plus an inspiring quote. Check it out on Gumroad with this link: https://gumroad.co/NZTt

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December 2020 - Week 4

Who else is on count down to 2021 with high hopes? Yep! But here's the thing - you have to change if you want things to be different. (Because y-o-u are the constant in the life you don't want.) 

It may mean you stop tolerating things. It may mean you get in shape. It may mean you say "yes" when you are scared or "no" when you are overwhelmed.  And forget resolutions and word-for-the-year! (Over. And passive.)  

Make a CHOICE. Then, set yourself up to succeed in that choice, over and over again.

Books

- Next Girl to Die by Dea Poirier via Kindle Unlimited was enjoyable but a touch shallow. Echoes of Lily Bard in the detective, with a different trauma.

- Curvy and Cursed? by Rosalie Hunter via Kindle Unlimited which was rift with detail holes. I won't read the next. (Skip)

- Sweatpants and Spells by Keira Blackwood via Kindle Unlimited which wasn't bad. I'll read the next.

- Magical New Beginnings by Brenda Trim via Kindle Unlimited which was just bad. No two ways about it. Skips whole swathes of narrative and feels like it starts in the middle. I won't read the next. (Skip it.)

Cooking: All the Hungryroot! These are great. I love that they send all the stuff (see giant picture). You just start cooking. I did tell them I like stir-fries so there seem to be a lot of those. 

Outside of that, I'm still not cooking much. (One box of mac and cheese hardly counts.) We may scale back this feature until I'm regularly cooking again.

Gratitude: Friends who drop off cookies. Friends who offer to come get you when you are trapped in your drive-way. Warm, comfy pants. Black squirrels.  Friends who make you mimosas!

Listening: Check out Episode 47 of this podcast on goal setting! And you'll hear me. 

Things 14 Said: She came over a couple times and we built a cat tree. She has approved of the new space.

Watching - Gossip Girl. I finished it! But, I got issues: How did Daddy Van der Woodsen go from music director to doctor?  What happened to the actual son Lily and Rufus had? He's been AOL for many seasons. How did Carol go from Lily's big sister to her little sister and then back the next season?  However, for all the drama, there is something to the understated way Lily and Elinor handle drama moments with their kids - kind of understated. Queen of the South. Which I killed off - joke intended!

Wearing

Perfume

Sticking with one brand of scent for the rest of the month.

Sucreabeille

- We Are Stardust - Scent notes: Daisy crowns and sandalwood, a bouquet of peace lilies, vanilla cream fresh from Max’s dairy farm, and a drop of patchouli. I needed the reminder. We are stardust. And I still don't understand how Sucre came up with a patchouli that I don't mind and somehow I don't get daisy (cat pee) off this! I get a delicious cream and lily deal with a sandalwood base that I could wear all week.

- Ruthless B-Word - Scent Notes: An unbelievably juicy blend of blood oranges and lychees. White amber and ginger lilies blend to give a sophisticated presence. For me, this is a light floral that lasts one hot minute on my skin. (Seriously - maybe 2 hours in my hair. Something in it - maybe the citrus - is gone against my skin.) And I would expect "ruthless" to have a darker note. But it's a fun scent.

- Sinister - Scent notes: Freshly cut jasmine, Egyptian geranium, oud, a lavender field, eucalyptus, a musky attic. The name freaked me out. I hesitated to try it. Somehow this reminded me of La Gram Russe's beloved My Sin.  It had lovely depth.

• (Lanvin My Sin (Mon Peche) was created back in 1924 by a mysterious Russian lady called “Madame Zed”, who worked on several more Lanvin fragrances. This feminine, provocative and dangerously seductive fragrant composition begins with aldehydes, bergamot, lemon, clary sage and neroli. The middle notes are: ylang-ylang, jasmine, rose, clove, orris, lily-of-the-valley, narcissus and lilac. The base is oriental – woody with vetiver, vanilla, musk, woody notes, tolu balm, styrax and civet. The perfume was discontinued in 1988.) 

There is not much the same between the two. Jasmine. There are a few reminiscent scents (woody notes  and oud; orris + ylang-ylang + lily of the valley = lavender) but not so much cross it should bring My Sin to mind. But it does.  It lasts hours on me - 6+. And softens as it lingers - it ends in nearly a powdery floral for me.

Skin

These were better skin weeks. Kept it the same as last week. Continuity.  Did throw in 2 face masks. Naturallogic Unmask Detox Hydration Mask  and Malaya Advanced Repair Mask (both courtesy of Boxwalla on different moths.) That hydration mask is the BOMB for winter skin. And the repair mask (with neem flower honey) is fantastic on the now ubiquitous mascne. 

 - Day time - Standard in-shower wash of tea tree cleanser followed by a third finger (gentlest finger) tapping into the skin of 100% Pure's Super Fruit Oil Nourishing Eye Cream, then the Votary serum and topped with the Votary day oil (yes a switch). And I've added the Votary cream some days because my skin is starting to be dry for the winter. Moved the shot of Monastery Aloe Hyaluronic Moisture Boost on the forehead and neck to days when I have Zooms!

- Night time - 1st cleanse with 100% Pure's Blood Orange Cleansing Balm following with a 2nd cleanse with my DHC Washing Powder for a little extra exfoliation. Liking the Naturallogic Elemental Advanced Hydration Red Wine Essence (last month's Boxwalla) as the first layer to restore moisture and fight off lines. The follow up moisture set has remained Votary night oil and cream (via the Boxwalla). Plus the Grown Alchemist eye cream.

(Boxwalla has a every other month beauty box that is the BOMB. Highly recommend.)

Random -  The value of promises builds over time. Break one and they are all worth less, until your word is worthless. (Yo, Peter, you paying attention?)

Also I miss samosas. (Indian potato food. Yum!) 

Take-away - New year doesn't mean a new you. Not unless you make different choices. Welcome to 2021. May we all be healthy and happy. Catch you on the flip side.

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December 2020 - Week 2

Someone I know travels to see new things. I like doing that, too. But, you only see what you l-o-o-k at and there are small beauties all around us, every day. Be still and look.

Something to remember as we move into this new season.

Books: Reading as a form of de-stress is priceless. Seriously. Books and the worlds in people's heads are a gift.

- Umbertouched (Kindle) by Livia Blackburne is the 2nd (Rosemarked) was the first. It's called a Young Adult novel but there is no forever at the end. Just a sunset on a short life. That said, I liked the series.

- Midlife Ghost Hunter by Shannon Mayer (Kindle Unlimited.) I adore this series. Seriously. Could this please be my life?

- After the Rain by Alexandra Elle (actual book). Some chapters I enjoyed. Some made me think. Some didn't resonate. But, if you have been going through an emotional storm - this may be a book to help. (Full disclosure, I thought about Little Free Library'ing it because a few flipped to chapters did not resonate. Then I started at the front. And there is too much good to give up but I might be buying a few people copies!)

Cooking: Making up that Hungryroot! I'm telling you, this may be the best thing I've done in a bit. Food and recipes delivered to my door. Now there is a learning curve as they figure out what you like but I've yet to have a full delivery where I did not like anything. We're down to one or two items a delivery - then I just mark that and they don't send again! (And the next one, thanks to a few edits, looks perfect!)

Gratitude: Sunrise over the river. Cute dogs (even when stinky). Cuddle cats. Creating order. Breakfasts with friends. Downtown shopping at cute stores. Small, shiny things; because everything you touch should be beautiful. New dog friends, who trust you when other humans made them scared.

House: I like to call unpacking "unfurling". Because you are releasing your belongings into the space. Still have about 10 boxes. I'm down to figuring out new homes for things that went somewhere ELSE in the prior house. (Not all houses are configured the same. Space changes.)

Good news - No major repairs! Although the city did put in the start of a new water pipe. So happy I painted that wall last week.....  

Listening: Apple has a whole holiday channel with different kids of holiday music - country, jazz, classics, etc. This may be heaven. Also a couple of the usual suspect podcasts - Redefining Wealth and Don't Keep Your Day Job. (Not that I don't like my day job but she has good guests.)

Watching: Gossip Girl. (It's going off Netflix. Gotta get it while it is there.) As I was watching, Chuck Bass said his mother's birthday as Bart Bass's safe combination. And I realize...she's 3 years older than me. OMG. I was old even when the show was new! I'm also over the headbands but on to slouchy purses and scarves.

Wearing

Perfume

People. I went exclusive to one brand for the week. Mostly to one scent, too!

Sucreabeille

- Troll Food - Scent notes: melted chocolate, toasted marshmallow, sweet honey graham cracker.  I get the honey and marshmallow in the scent layers but still find traces of cinnamon and caramel (the latter may actually be graham cracker). Continues to smell like I'm delicious food that would go well with a latte. It lasts pretty well, most of a business day, on my skin. I did kill the tiny sample bottle, so we are off to new pastures!

- We Are Stardust - Scent notes: Daisy crowns and sandalwood, a bouquet of peace lilies, vanilla cream fresh from Max’s dairy farm, and a drop of patchouli. I needed the reminder. We are stardust. And I still don't understand how Sucre came up with a patchouli that I don't mind and how I don't get daisy (cat pee) off this!

Skin

I think my skin is starting to show my age. I am less than pleased. Changes will happen.

 - Day time - Standard in-shower wash of tea tree cleanser followed by a third finger (gentlest finger) tapping into the skin of 100% Pure's Super Fruit Oil Nourishing Eye Cream, then the Votary serum and topped with the Votary day oil (yes a switch). And I've added the Votary cream some days because my skin is starting to be dry for the winter. Moved the shot of Monastery Aloe Hyaluronic Moisture Boost on the forehead and neck to days when I have Zooms!

- Night time - 1st cleanse with 100% Pure's Blood Orange Cleansing Balm following with a 2nd cleanse with my DHC Washing Powder for a little extra exfoliation. Liking the Naturallogic Elemental Advanced Hydration Red Wine Essence (last month's Boxwalla) as the first layer to restore moisture and fight off lines. The follow up moisture set has remained Votary night oil and cream (via the Boxwalla). Plus the Grown Alchemist eye cream.

(Boxwalla has a every other month beauty box that is the BOMB. Highly recommend.)

Random: I can a-l-w-a-y-s tell when a man's wife does not work. It's in the respect with which he treats my time. If she works, and has a professional job, he treats my time like his own. If she does not, he treats my time as if it is less important than his - late for meetings, canceling on appointments, arbitrarily changing agreed delivery. (And yes, I had that experience this week. I probably won't be doing business with that company again.)

This weekend I shopped downtown at local stores. I did my holiday shopping, which will ship late. And I'm okay with that. I spent my budget, not more, and I feel like I helped the beautiful downtown community. (Pictured, a gorgeous candle - of which I bought more than a few for gifts  - and, above, a light pull to add pretty into one of my spaces.)

Take-away - Remember the starfish story. You can't save them all, but you can make a difference - even if for just one. Who are you making a difference for?

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